Refusing Complacency: Where the Water Hides Beneath the Earth

After driving about 6 hours out of Antigua, we finally turned off the main paved road, and onto a rocky path that slowly snaked about 1500 feet down a mountain. The sign on the path said Lanquin was a mere 11km away. We were excited about finally getting to this remote jungle paradise; little did we know 11 km on this road takes about an hour. The path is only wide enough for one vehicle; so many times we pulled off into the high grass for other cars to pass. We finally made it to our hostel, called El Retiro.

This place was the most amazing hostel in all of Guatemala. We arrived about an hour before sunset. The grounds are sprawling, tropical, and welcoming. They had a couple options for rooming. They had a large dorm, private cabins with bathrooms, cabin duplexes without bathrooms, or you could rent the space above one of the duplexes, like a loft. We got one without a bathroom, and met the guy in the loft above us. El Retiro was huge. It could sleep over 100 people, and had about 60 people staying while we were there. Many chickens, waiting to become dinner, strutted around. The river Lanquin bordered one side of the hostel. The water was freezing, but they had “surfing” set up so I jumped in to give it a shot. The river was crystal clear and moving extremely fast! They had ropes strung across the river hanging over the water. One had another rope tied to it, with a large strong piece of wood attached being pulled downstream. A handle, like you would use for waterskiing, was attached to the board at the rope. The point was to balance the board in the water and use the handle to steady yourself while you….stand up on the board. It was impossible. I got to my knees at least, which I felt pretty proud about, everyone was saying it was difficult!

There are a few (3) places to stay in Lanquin, they are all inclusive. Lanquin is an extremely small town, hours away from the nearest big city. Though there are small food vendors in town, each hostel serves meals on-site. El Retiro had a really cool system. For breakfast and lunch, you could order off a menu. Dinner, however, was served at 7:30 with a set buffet menu. They had vegetarian friendly fare, and they would call the vegetarians to go through the line first, then they would put meat out. It was 50Q (6$) for a huge and delicious meal. One night was steak night. The buffet included: Salad, slaw, beans, vegetable casserole, mashed potatoes, gravy, hummus, mac-n-cheese, vegetables, steak, pitas, and tortillas. There were three long tables. All the guests scattered around, forming little pockets of mismatched people from all over the world. We made friends from Australia, France, US, Guatemala, Holland, Switzerland, and more. The meal ends with an announcement of the night’s activity, dessert and drink special at the bar. They made bonfires and chocolate covered strawberries, while guests played board games, shared beers, and bobbed to random selections of music. We played Dare Jenga with a group of travelers with giant tiles made from 2X4s that had funny instructions written on each piece. Jay had to ask a staff member to dance, and I had to kiss a stranger (on the cheek). It was really fantastic at El Retiro; three days wasn’t long enough!

The whole reason we were at El Retiro was Semuc Champey (See-muhk Shahm-pay), the most magical and awe-inspiring place in Guatemala. It’s another 9km out of town on gravel roads in the back of a four- wheel drive pick-up, snaking up and down mountain sides. It took about 40 mins to drive the 9 km. Semuc Champey means “where the river hides beneath the earth” in Maya Q’eqchi. It is a place where a mighty river goes through rock, underground for 300 meters and spills back out into the open. A crystal spring connected to the river spills over the top of this natural limestone bridge. The spring water has formed bright blue, emerald, and turquoise pools on the bridge. It is surrounded by verdant, steep mountians and jungle fauna. Beautiful isn’t descriptive enough. This place is so amazing! If you can only go to 1 pace in Guatemala, THIS IS IT!!!

We stayed at the pools for a couple of hours. We went in the afternoon. It was the perfect time, we shared the whole place with no more than 5 other people, who were mostly leaving when we arrived. We swam for hours, doing cannonballs into the deeper pools. The park closes at 6, so to make sure we could catch a truck heading back to town we stopped swimming at 5 and hiked to the entrance. There was one lonely employee about to leave at the gate. We asked him about a ride back to town, he said there were no more trucks, but he could call a private taxi for us. It would only cost us our whole budget for a day and a half, ugh! We didn’t even have that much cash on us or at the hostel. We didn’t realize Lanquin had no ATM, so we were using a debit card at the hostel to pay for rooms and meals; we only had enough cash for the excursions planned! So we were stuck out in the middle of literally nowhere, with no way to get back but by walking.

It was about 5:10 when we left Semuc Champey on the lonely, mountain pass road. We were hoping to find a camioneta along the way. It was not an easy walk. Dark was quickly approaching, and the terrain was a constant cycle of steep climbs and rocky dips. We had luckily packed the flashlight and switchblade I had bought to send to my brother; we had about two cups of water left in our bottle. After less than a kilometer it was dark. We knew the cheap flashlight wouldn’t last for nine kilometers so we would only turn it on in intervals of seconds to make sure we were not about to stumble or trip on rocks in the path. Two kilometers from Semuc Champey is a sign marking the correct direction and distance to the site. It took us about 50 mins to walk two km. We were both scared and frustrated at the situation, dreading the next seven kilometers. Not too far into the next kilometer a truck came rumbling towards us, it was a camioneta! I quickly asked if he was returning to Lanquin on his route on that road he said yes, awesome! We kept walking, and listening out for the truck to come back! After another hour and another 2 km or so, we had given up on the truck. We were so tired and hungry! We had prepaid for dinner that night, it started at 7:30; we would never make it walking.
It was peaceful, yet remote. We were too vulnerable out there, but we were trying to avoid thinking about all the terrible “What if?” situations that could befall us in such an isolated place. We walked and walked and rested and walked some more. I only had one small freak-out when I thought I heard something in the bushes. It was terribly dark, as there are only a handful of houses on the entire 9km road. It's probably better we couldn't see what was around us. Guatemala is famous for its jaguar population! Finally, we heard the faintest vibration that grew into a rumble, and emerged in a headlight beam coming up behind us! It was the camioneta! I was ecstatic!

We perched on the back of the truck. Two Israeli guys had their bags strewn all over and were lounging in the back, forcing everyone else to stand. A tiny old lady was standing up against the tailgate holding on tightly to the top bar of the canopy; two men stood on the back bumper; a tiny kid, no more than eight, was lying across the tarp over the bed of the truck, dodging tree limbs in the dark; the Jewish punk strummed his guitar and chatted in Hebrew the whole time. I finally had enough and said in English that they could move their things for the rest of us. He complained about how much he was paying for the ride, how uncomfortable he already was, and didn’t move a muscle. People like that give travelers a bad reputation. We feel like when we are in a country, the native people are the hosts. If they are so kind as to open their country to us, we will certainly not offend and make every gesture possible to kindle friendly relations with them. Maybe we are just southern, but overlooking their rudeness would have made us accomplices. Guatemalans are too polite, and would never have asked them to move. Finally, I just started grabbing backpacks and duffle bags and piled them up. Jay moved from the bumper to the inside of the truck bed.
One of the local guys hanging off the bumper told us it was a little after 7 pm, fantastic! We ditched the truck in town, and walked the half km to El Retiro. On passing reception, we saw that same punk from the truck inside. Great. Dinner was fantastic that night, though! We filled up on shish-ka-bobs of chicken, beef, and pork, salad, vegetables, scalloped potatoes and giant bottles of water. We were so happy to just be there, a peanut butter sandwich would have been devine!

The next day was muggy and cold. We ate breakfast and lounged around the lodge. The main hall has swings and hammocks under the pavilion for relaxing. Oscar loved El Retiro, and they all loved Oscar. Everywhere we go people just adore Oscar! We napped that afternoon, and then got ready for that day’s adventure: the bat cave!! We were taking a tour to a cave at dusk to watch the exodus of millions of bats. It was just four of us: Jay and I, the guide, and Karen, the terrified Londoner. It was an awesome feeling. The bats are swooshing right around your head, dodging you to get out. You can feel them but you can’t see them. It takes two full hours for them all to get out. After taking pictures of darkness (only to see tons of bats after the flash), we climbed into the cave. It’s a quartz cave, with giant quartz formations, and stalactites and stalagmites. Surprisingly there wasn’t guano everywhere; we were climbing where they pass not where they live. It was a really cool tour and pretty cheap too!

We were sad to be leaving. We talked to some friends that night about traveling to Flores the next day. One, from Guatemala, said there was a giant protest in Flores that day. They had the roads blocked; they weren’t letting in buses or taxis. He said shuttles might not run the next day if the protest isn’t over. Well it wouldn’t be too bad staying at El Retiro another night, but we were on a schedule. Are we going to make it out on time???

Stay tuned, same bat time same bat channel!